British Days: Going Back to England, Pt. 1

"The opportunities you pass up in life you never get back," the man told me.

It was dinner time at the university, and I was sitting at a table in the dining hall eating my meal, which I often ate alone. But on this day my solitary meal was interrupted by one of the workers on the cafeteria staff who gave me this invaluable piece of advice. He was a middle-aged man, and obviously did not want me to make the same life-mistakes he had made. Once he told me this I knew I was in for a life lecture and wouldn't be eating my meal in peace. He went on to tell me about how a friend once offered him an opportunity to work in South America when he was around my age, but passed it up because he thought he needed to stay behind and work to make money.

"Why did I do that?" The man said, regretting his decision. "When you're that age you don't need to worry about losing money. It's always coming back."

But it was too late for him because he had a family now, and once you have a family it becomes harder to travel because of family responsibilities. I nodded my head in acquiesce, but my calm reaction was a facade. My anxiety level shot up, and I got nervous and imagined the worse. Oh, God! What if I do something like that?! What if I pass up some important opportunity for not-so-good reasons? What if I miss my opportunity to travel abroad!? Am I going to be looking back on that decision with regret forever!?

Ever since I entered college I had wanted to go to England, specifically London. As a teenager I had gotten in to rock music, and most of my favorite bands were from England, and ever since then I had wanted to visit that country. I knew college could give me the opportunity to go because many colleges have study abroad programs for their students to study in England. I had already been England twice with a study abroad group at the community college I used to attend, but those trips were short trips, and had lasted about a week each. I wanted to go to England and spend some time there, and I was hoping if I had another opportunity to go I would be able to stay for a few months. But the man's advice made me nervous because it implied I might be in a situation where I would have the opportunity to go but not take advantage of the opportunity because of perceived "extenuating circumstances." I walked out of the cafeteria hoping nothing like that would happen to me. I hoped I would never be in a situation where choosing to go or not to go England was a difficult decision because of my circumstances. I wanted that decision to be as anxiety free as possible because I had been longing to go back to London for a long time.

During my senior year I was set to study abroad in London at Middlesex University. Everything was official, and all I had to do was go over there the next semester. But there was one big problem--Middlesex offered no class that would transfer in for the capstone class in Philosophy (Minds and Machines), which I had to take to complete my minor. There were several options I had to deal with the situation, and none were appealing to me. I could take the capstone class as an independent study while I was at Middlesex, but I didn't think that was a good idea. Any capstone class is supposed to be the hardest class a department has to offer, and I thought if this is the thoughest philosophy class it would be best that I took it at the university instead of by myself. Or I could not take the capstone class and go to Middlesex anyway. But that would mean not completing my minor; all philosophy majors and minors had to take it to complete the program, and since I loved philosophy so much I didn't want that to happen. Also, the class was only offered in the fall, so I couldn't take it in the spring. I could theoretically come back in the fall of the following year to finish my minor. But I thought that would be wasting time when I could be working. Going to Middlesex during spring semester was not an option too. The university's exchange programme was only for the fall semester, and if I went in the spring I'd have to be accepted in to Middlesex as one of their students, and I'd have to pay their tuition, which was twice as much as Radofrd University's because the pound is worth twice as much as the dollar. As the deadline approached to finalize classes for fall semester I brooded about my situation. My choices came down to doing either one of two things: either go to Middlesex and forfeit the completion of my minor or stay at the university and not go to Middlesex and complete the minor. This was a dilemma and nightmare I had wanted to avoid. I recalled the cafeteria worker's advice to me: "The opportunities you pass up in life you never get back." But whatever I chose in this situation I was going to have to sacrifice an opportunity to gain one, and I might not get back the opportunity I chose to sacrifice.

After thinking about the situation for a long time, and after experiencing a lot of anxiety, I decided to stay at the university and canceled out of the exchange program. When I told the International Director I was canceling out of the program he told if I had a dream not to give up on it. But I was still devastated, and wondered whether I was doing to right thing and if I had just passed up my last opportunity to go back to England. I didn't know if I would ever get another chance. But I loved philosophy, and I wanted to complete my minor and take the Minds and Machines class. If I went to England I'd miss out on it, and I'd be missing out on something important. A couple of days later I told somebody who had studied at Middlesex University what I decided, and she told me I should have gone because she had to give up all sorts of things--such as honor club memberships--to go. But little did I know at the time that another opportunity would come my way.